Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
