just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize