And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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