NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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