We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
third nipple confirmed
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
