i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
of course. lets lasso hookers.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
