i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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