Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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