I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
