The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
