Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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