I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
