it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
