why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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