Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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