words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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