I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
