So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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