I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
