I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
