party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
