i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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