Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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