new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
