You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
