well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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