Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How's work?
Spinning.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
