We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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