shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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