Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
