I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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