Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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