Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
