We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize