Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
