Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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