I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Less talking, more tequila
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
