I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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