some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
