What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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