names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
