Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
