Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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