I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
