how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
