May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
