WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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