I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
