Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
