Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
