Michael Bay diarrhea
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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