Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
