dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
