just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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