erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
do nipples grow back?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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