I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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