The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
