I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
