bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
