Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
