i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
