Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
