I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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