I skipped work to stalk him.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
